Rollercoaster Twitter Thread Is An Epic Tale Of Love, Fanfiction, and Rejection

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Ada Elder
Dec 1, 2021 9:00 PM EST

The tween years are hard on pretty much everyone (except for maybe you, Jessica R from homeroom) but this wild ride of a Twitter thread takes those awkward years to the next level. Cracked editor Dan Dockery treated the social media site to a very detailed and very cringey account of his desperate (and creative) attempts to win the affection of his crush. It's...incredible.

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  • 01
    Text - Daniel Dockery Follow @dandock When I was in middle school, I had a crush on a girl whose favorite movie was Titanic. So, to impress her, I wrote an outline for a sequel called Titanic 2. And for every like this tweet gets, I will reveal another awful detail of this story. 1:37 PM - 13 Jan 2019 256 Retweets 1,352 Likes 21 t 256 1.4K Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h I had never seen Titanic before writing Titanic 2. I had read the plot synopsis, and learned the two main characters' names. I figu
    via Dan Dockery
  • 02
    Text - Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h I knew that Rose was telling the story, but because I'd just read a brief synopsis, I had know idea of her exact age. So, I made this a time travel story as well. 2 75 Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h In Titanic 2, Rose travels to the future, where they have a procedure that makes people young again. She undergoes it, and then finds out that there's a procedure that brings people back to life. And so she resurrects Jack. 2 84 Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h They find Jack'
    via Dan Dockery
  • 03
    Text - Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h Then, in a confrontation with Bob Fett, Jack gets one of his life packs ripped off. OOOOOH. DRAMA. 58 1. Daniel Dockery @dandock8h OH SHIT. I totally forgot to mention that Bob Fett has a knife for a hand. That will come up again later 1 ti 1 93 Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h I had Bob Fett gain a knife hand because l'd seen something similar in the cinematic masterpiece The Wild Wild West 2 79 Daniel Dockery @dandock 8h When Jack and Rose aren't dueling a man with
    via Dan Dockery
  • 04
    Text - Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h Eventually, Jack manages to knock Bob Fett off the side of the ship, and thinks he's dead. BUT WAIT. Bob Fett stuck his knife hand in the side of the boat and survived! 1 55 t 1 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h Jack reunites with Rose, and they make out some more. But Bob Fett RISES FROM BEHIND THEM AND SLASHES ROSE'S LAST LIFE PACK. 55 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h T had planned to deliver this story to the girl I had a crush on in actual book form. But, because I had n
    via Dan Dockery
  • 05
    Canidae - Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h I remember it clearly. It was the day that we were supposed to pay for yearbook photos. I was armed with with a few dollars from Mom and a legal pad with Titanic 2. I was ready. 1 52 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h I opened the conversation with the delightfully tact "Hey, umm, do you remember Titanic?" 1 49 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h After some chit chat, where I told her that I wanted to make movies when I grew up (or be a pro wrestler, whichever happened first)
    via Dan Dockery
  • 06
    Text - Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h So, I ended up just handing her the legal pad. She immediately asked me if wanted it back, and I said "No, read it." And then I walked away. Ya know, like James Bond would've done 1 62 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h I waited two whole weeks for her to finish what was a three page story. What did she think? Was she enamored? Was she reading it over and over again? Did she want to....keep it? 1 47 Daniel Dockery @dandock 7h Eventually, though, I decided to ask her wha
    via Dan Dockery

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cringe funny tweets funny crush
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